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Quake Demos
We haven't made an update to the site for... a while. So, here's a link to my old, old, old Quake demo collection. As a disclaimer, most of these demos are of me, and most of them I haven't watched in years, so they are probably boring. But, there are a couple of MXL games and some other random crap that may be enjoyable, likely at my expense. I may put some newer ones in here too at some point, but this is mostly from MPlayer days. Hopefully I'll get around to annotating these soon. Monkey Quake Demos
Added by Monkey on March 20, 2010 2:41 AM

New Member Part Sexeux
It's German-French day. Today we welcome Eieio into the clan! Some call him Sullen, some call him Kee, whatever. I don't have any idea, I just know he's a farmer. Eieio is an experienced DM player, which apparently doesn't help him play any better. In fact he's so bad, he's good. Bizarro. GG. WYSIWYG. MF! Eieio, Bizarro Pop Tart.
Added by Monkey on September 27, 2007 5:52 PM

New Member Part 5eux

I'm awesome. This time our new member is GodShot. He's a French-Canadian I think, don't hate on him for it. If you piss him off, he will insult you in French really hard.

It's amazing that we are able to continually get new members even though Quake is not getting any new players. At this pace, we will BE Quake 1. You will fear us, because we will be really good compared to all the people who don't play. And we will have BARBEQUES. Barbeques that your sorry ass will miss out on because you didn't play Quake with us when we wanted you to! We will call them bizarbeques, and you won't be invited!

Added by Monkey on August 27, 2007 7:34 PM

Bizarro Sighting!

Well, sort of. Drama's computer is all messed, and he took the following screenshot (and some others) after an eventful level change. Wow! He calls it acid Quake, we call it BIZARRO QUAKE!! Feel the Bizarro. See all 34 Bizarro Quake screenshots in the Other Stuff section.

Added by Monkey on August 4, 2007 3:08 PM

New Member Part Quadreux

I don't know French, ok. Drama is another long time friend of our clan who decided to join recently. Welcome Drama, yayyyyyy! We are pleased to announce that we have all the biggest yappers in Quake now, Haze, Plest and Drama! The channel has been alive lately with a lot of really stupid shit. Here's an excerpt:

[14:34] <Evade> damn you homos for making me want food I dont have
[14:34] <haze_> spaghetti is cheap
[14:35] <Evade> yeah
[14:35] <Evade> the point is I dont want to go out and then by the time i get to cooking it will be late
[14:35] <Evade> and i have laundry and other gay stuff to take care of from my trip
[14:36] <Evade> so im having some stouffers frozen skillet dinner
[14:36] <haze_> lol
[14:36] <haze_> im having penis smothered in creamy white sauce
[14:36] <Evade> yeah you would wouldn't you
[14:36] <drama2> gross
[14:37] <Evade> i prefer my penis dry
[14:37] <haze_> yeah you like a2m dont you
[14:37] <drama2> I prefer creamy brown sauce smother on my penis
[14:37] <Evade> I usually just supply my own sauce
[14:38] <haze_> dude creamy brown sauce
[14:38] <haze_> what are you fucking JAPANESE
[14:38] <Evade> japanese people are some major sickos
[14:38] <Evade> although one cool thing
[14:38] <Evade> you can buy "used schoolgirl panties" in vending machines in japan

Added by Monkey on July 16, 2007 7:05 PM

New Member Part Treux

Is Treux a word? Haze is our newest new member. He's that one guy who claims he was in QWL but we don't remember. He also remembers weird things that didn't happen, like banging Hillary Clinton in the butt. Welcome to the clan.

In other news, Para is a fagass and got obsessed with WoW or something, so as a result he is our newest dropout. Hopefully someday he comes to his senses. We are also still working on a secret something. West is trying to start another CQL as well, which we reluctantly offered to play in. I still think the whole thing will fall through before it starts. Let's hope I'm wrong. No, I'm never wrong. It's DOOMed, no pun intended.

Added by Monkey on July 8, 2007 4:55 PM

New Member Part Deux

Salted, long time anal protègè of Para, passed the vote 5 - 0 in favor of himself. Long live the anal protègè! Our clan now stands at 6 active members, and one R00k.

In other news, a secret project is particularly in the works now, thanks to the "software development process". Keep checking back here for updates, which we probably won't feel like giving you.

Added by Monkey on May 3, 2007 6:32 PM

New Member

Para, long time anal protègè of Souless, passed the vote 4 - 0 in favor of himself. We now proudly present his presence in our presence at the present time. Long live liver lovers! Para wins!

Added by Monkey on April 10, 2007 6:35 PM

IRC Channel and Status Update
First off, we now idle on using the #bizarroteam channel, since some unknown assholes are using #bizarro. Secondly, yes this means we still play Quake. In fact, we have 4 members that have been playing daily or at least a few times a week for a while now: Souless, Plested, Evade and myself. To a lesser extent, Rook still puts on his Bizarro name sometimes :). In addition, we may soon begin an as-of-yet undetermined Quake project! Check up with us in the future to see what's new. Meanwhile, why not take a gander at the BizarroStorro?
Added by Monkey on March 25, 2007 10:48 AM

Major Bizarro / Quake Update

It has been forever since there has been an update on our site. Unfortunately the lack of news is because there has been an extreme lack of Quake playing going on among the few remaining players of Deathmatch and Clan Arena. My understanding is that a decent amount of people are still playing CTF and that a good amount are playing games through the dreaded QuakeWorld client. Please come on, how the hell do people actually like QuakeWorld. The only mod I can play using QW is Team Fortress / Mega TF. I feel like I like I am an obeserver when playing QW, not actually in the game and a part of the environment as with regular Net Quake. This is the time that I have been dreading now for the better part of the last 4 years as it is nearly impossible now to find a 4v4 or 3v3 deathmatch game. Looking back there has been many great moments playing Quake, unfortunately few more, if any, will be made from this point forward. Myself and Money have had some ambitions to create a Quake remembered website. If I find some time, I will consider doing this. Many of the ideas originally planned for this site would be incorporated in to that one. The basic idea behind this new site would be to have submit information about themselves (as Quake players) and any particular media / screen shots. If enough people were to discover the site and put up some stuff, a parallel time line could eventually be constructed. Obviously I have way high hopes for this site, but there is a possibility that it could work. Also, very few people even idle anymore on in #Quake1 as well as some other major Quake channels. If there is any other IRC location where Quakers are hanging out at, lemme know. If anyone other than Monkey reads this, also let me know.

Oh, and I have been wondering for the better part of the last year and half or so why Captain Murphy has not been on Sealab 2021 lately and that football coach guy has taken over. Unfortunately Harry Goz (I hope that is his name) died. Really sucks when the best character on a show goes away. Family Guy has become one of my new favorite shows though. I had only really started watching it last fall, and soon after was questioning myself on why the eff I didn't watch it sooner. Well, sweetly enough, they started making new episodes airing on Fox.

Ok, that is enough rambling for now. Sorry to make you think that there was actually some really important news from the headline :(.

Added by Evade on June 23, 2005 7:31 PM

More Plested News

He's a canuck, and this is what I do to canucks!!

Added by Monkey on November 20, 2004 4:22 PM

BREAKING NEWS: Plested's Bro Runs Over Turkey!!!

Wow, he plowed a turkey for real? AMAZING.

[22:30] <phuel> i let my lil brother take my sunfire tonight, and he hit a fucking turkey
[22:31] <phuel> haha good pictars we have
[22:39] <phuel> rofl, so he took it to a party
[22:39] <phuel> and is gonna throw it at people
[22:39] <phuel> and put it in someones car
[22:46] <phuel> he said he hit the turkey
[22:46] <phuel> and it wasnt dead
[22:47] <phuel> so the drunk kid with him got out and punched its face in untill it stopped moving
[22:47] <phuel> cuz its neck was fucked
[22:55] <phuel> ROFLFLFLLF
[22:55] <phuel> cant see the caption though
[22:55] <phuel> it says "I Be Pimpin yo"
[22:55] <phuel> hahaha stupid brother
[22:56] <phuel> the other one the turkey is spread out on the front window
[22:56] <phuel> and says "FUCK ME HARD" hahaha
[22:57] <Monkey> thats funny
[22:57] <Monkey> haha
[22:57] <phuel> haha dead turkey!!

Now THAT's Bizarro!!

Added by Monkey on September 24, 2004 11:20 PM

Newcomer Diurn
Finally after 4 or 5 months, the latest Diurn vote passed 4 to 0 in favor of gaytossing him into the clan. As a result it is my honor to say BIZARROM Diurn!
Added by Monkey on August 27, 2004 11:25 PM

Bizarro Plested's AcciDent
AcciDent Toothpaste has just been added to the BizarroStorro as a Household Item, view it here. As an added note, we realize we have not updated the site in quite some time and hope that soon we will be hard at work on the Making of the BizarroStorro project, which is a large undertaking in itself. More on that soon.
Added by Monkey on August 8, 2004 10:40 PM

Quick Update
I've added one more item to the BizarroStorro, so now the total is 44. This item comes from, upon the demands of the all-powerful BlackKnight. It's called the Dry Ice Sex Chair.
Added by Monkey on June 17, 2004 12:29 AM

To commemorate the June 16th anniversary of Bizarro, Evade and I have decided to put out 43 items of merchandise for sale to the public! Now is the time for Bizarro to invade the land! BEHOLD, BIZARROSTORRO!!!
Added by Monkey on June 16, 2004 10:35 PM

It's Coming Closer
It's Coming CloserrRRrrrRrrrrrrrrRRRRRrrrrR. SSSSsssSSssSSsS5DaYsSSsSssSSssssSS.
Added by Monkey on June 11, 2004 11:30 PM

It's Coming
Added by Monkey on June 3, 2004 1:37 PM

Spring Cleaning

I have reviewed the IRC Humor section and found that several of the quotes within are utterly shitty. Sadly, most of the shitty ones are mine. Here is a list of the ones I removed for being too shitty. If you disagree with me, bring it to my attention: The Legend of Zelda (headgiving ability), Fetish Fun (mixing fetishes), Fart Joke Of The Day, Eat My Zord (Mighty Morphin' Zebra Fjords), Not Really Funny, But Thought Provoking (esthetic beauty of a sculpture).

In addition Evade and I have decided to add Snoop to the Straightlist for his quote regarding the wholesome goodness that is Bizarro, and that is not "every other clan".

Added by Monkey on April 21, 2004 3:21 AM

Another Shameless Plug, Calling A Ban On Bad Benchmark Programs!
Do you want an honest, meaningful, eye-pokingly accurate benchmark for your CPU? Look no further than MonkeyMark 2004! This console program will benchmark your CPU with incredible accuracy! The world famous Monkey is at it again, and this time he's got the best product ever. For the next several weeks, screenshot or post your exact MonkeyMark scores (average of 10) in #bizarro, and Monkey will post the highest score in the topic, along with your name! Oh, the joy. Tell your friends!
Added by Monkey on April 17, 2004 7:03 PM

Shameless Plug, Calling a ban on gayness

I urge all to check out this cool local band to the Orlando area called In This Day. Their music is very hard rock and somewhat similar to Mudvayne. They will be playing April 25 at the Earthday Birthday concert which is one of the biggest rock events every year in the Central Florida area.

Now to the really important stuff. I am calling on all the Bizarros and Bizarro Non-Bizarros of the world to unite and ban the gayness that is the movie The Punisher. I have no clue what the f*ck this movie is about really, I just know that everytime a trailer is on the television my ears bleed from the pain that is staind. Yes the faggot assed band that should be banned by all, staind. I am expecting this movie to completely flop 100% because of the fact that Staind is featured on the soundtrack trailer. If by some chance this movie does good, it reflects the gayness of the movie going public that yearn to see modernized crap of grade-A classics and unwitty comedies with no intelligent jokes. Also along with banning this movie, everyone should ban their local rock radio stations until 11:59p.m. of the current day whenever one of these musical bands is heard on that station in the form of a song or in the form of being mentioned by D.J's: Staind, Linkin Park, Kid Rock, Limp Bizkit, Puddle of Mudd, P.O.D, and any music I am forgetting that is mad gay like those mentioned bands.

Added by Evade on April 12, 2004 8:24 PM

Two Newzarros
Riptor and Plested join our humble clan with great rejoice and superior Bizarro abilities. Today is a great day, my Bizarro friends! To illustrate the great triumph this really is, Riptor has been trying to get into Bizarro for almost 3 months, while Plested has been at it for over 6 months! WOW! Amazing! Bake these dudes a butt-cake!
Added by Monkey on April 7, 2004 10:59 PM

QWL Logo & Bizarro Sighting

First of all, in honor of our QWL heritage, QWL members have begun dawning the QWL name in DM matches. In addition, one of Dry Ice's original QWL website logos (circa 1999) has been put on the QWL roster heading to honor the QWL name.

In addition a new bizarro sighting has been made, thanks to Deimos:
[02:33] <Deimos>
[02:34] <Deimos> ghaha

Added by Monkey on April 4, 2004 11:46 PM

Drama Bizarro Sighting
I got this picture from a site Dramacydal linked to, and made a few modifications. Thanks to Drama for this grand Bizarro Sighting:
Added by Monkey on March 26, 2004 12:29 AM

Derek's Internet Girlfriend

Derek A.K.A. Dry Ice sent us proof of his internet girlfriend a few days ago. I decided that maybe I should share it with the rest of the class:

P.S.: Tell the paparazzi that Justin Timberlake uses the online name "Cait."
P.P.S: Doesn't this picture STILL look like a woman?

Added by Monkey on March 25, 2004 11:57 PM

New Member!

Tool has groined the Bizarro world, and to our surprise it is the second time he's been in a clan with both Evade and I. We have added his rightful roster spot on the Bizarro roster as well as the QWL roster (which we previously didn't know about).

In other news, we played an honorable match against Zero in the CQL6 semi-finals, only to lose 0-3. We realize that Zero is undefeatable and are the gods of Quake, and at the same time they are some of the nicest, kindest people we have ever come across. GG CQL! Also, for the record, we vow never to enter another CQL season, probably because we shit our pants last time in defeat... wah. Let's just hope QGL rocks!

Even Björk endorses Zero.

Added by Monkey on March 14, 2004 11:43 PM

Bizarro Sighting (2-24-04)
I came across a bizarro sighting this morning while listening to the Howard Stern show on my way to class. In other news, I was listening to Howard Stern because Bubba the Love Sponge was fired yesterday. Bubba had been in massive gayly gay trouble from the FCC and Clear Channel finally dropped him. While his show did push the limit, it was more than that that made the show good. Anyways about the Bizarro sighting. As you all know by now, Stuttering John left the Howard Stern show in order to be an anouncer for the Jay Leno show. Howard stern was ranting yesterday (Monday 2-23-04) about this situation. Today he read an excert from a newspaper that quoted his rants, one of which he calls Jay Leno a "Bizarro". Listen here.
Added by Evade on March 20, 2010 3:08 AM

FINALLY The Bizarro's Have Released A New Project.

Well not really, but now that you think we have, I have something important to say: The Bizarro's have released a new Bizarro Project. There, I said it. Okay It's not really a project in the sense that only Evade worked on it, but it is a slight addition nonetheless untill the big papa mofo project that me and monkey will someday work on together. Here is the link to the video file which is in Divx format, yayas.avi.
Added by Evade on February 16, 2004 11:45 PM

New Quotes, Possible Additions, CQL6 Standings

There are some rather BIZARRO quotes in the IRC Humor section now. In other news, I will have my week-long semester break at the end of February. Since I have no life, I MAY make a major addition to the site, hopefully. It should be up by early March if there is one. As for Evade, he has been making more updates, yet has been on less than ever. Kind of strange. Look out for something else from him, if he decides to work on a small project.

Oh, and we suffered two miserable losses to SQ and Zero, both 0-3 games. This brings our overall CQL record to 3 wins and 3 losses. Just keep in mind... nobody on our squad has been playing enough recently except for me, so its no wonder we are losing games left and right. But, no matter what, we love Quake, and we play it for fun! Who gives a petite lion-dick if we lose a few games?

Added by Monkey on February 12, 2004 2:30 AM

A Glimpse into the rather non bizarroness that is the life of Evade
Unfortunately I am not rich. Unfortunately DryIce is. In order to keep this topic has straight as possible, however, there will be no more mention of auto-gay richie. My Dad brought home a digital camera from work today, a cool device that lets you take pictures in digital format and put them directly onto your computer. Apparently these have been out for a while, but I would never know since I cannot afford to buy one. Okay, on to the point. I took a couple of pictures to share which can be found on the other stuff section. (And random non dated miscellaneous unorganized pictures here).
Added by Evade on February 2, 2004 9:07 PM

Bizarro CQL and Robocop Clips

First of all, the CQL season started a few weeks ago and we are doing alright! Our current record is 2 wins and 1 loss.. we lost our first game to In10sity 1-3, then we beat DY 3-2, and Ice9-2 3-0. BIZARRO!!

I've also compiled some funny clips from the movie Robocop: Dark Justice (first in a series of 4). Check them out here (right click and save), the file is about 9 megs for over a minute of footage. YOU'RE BONED BABY!!!

Added by Monkey on February 1, 2004 1:37 PM

Kings of Chaos (KoC) Alliance
There is a new ownage web-based game out, called Kings of Chaos. Play it. We have an alliance in this game which right now consists of Monkey, Ransom, Nate, Nigz and Ripped. Everyone should join our alliance and own up on the enemy. Check out the game by clicking the top link (or whoever referred you) on the KOC ALLIANCE PAGE and joining an army. Feel free to ask about it first. Note: all alliance members MUST check out the page, and listen to what it says.
Added by Monkey on January 7, 2004 11:39 PM


Not much of a news update here but I noticed Monkey was the only one recently ever doing updates so I felt pressured to contribute. Our quake project has run into a few roadblocks, but at the same time new techniques have been discovered to improve the overall quality and bizarroness of it. With a little hope the project will be completed on time, however it appears that we will most likely have to push back the anticipated completion date. I am going to try to add a little more content to the lists page in the next few days such as top musical band and movie lists.

Lastly, The Bizarro World would like to wish everyone an unsafe and shitty New Year.

Added by Evade on December 30, 2003 2:34 PM

IDGET HAS RETURNED!!! He came back from a long 6 month journey to the Iraqi coastline with the navy, and owned them with his fists. Well, not exactly, but pretty close! Anyway, we are ECSTATIC that Idget has returned, as he is our good friend and one of the funniest people I've ever met. He has also agreed to join Bizarro (although he doesn't play very often). WELCOME BACK IDGET!!!!
Added by Monkey on December 21, 2003 5:41 PM

Loss and Discovery

He came almost as fast as he went. Alas, he will be remembered. One of our newest members Zender has quit the clan, cited as saying "I don't really feel like I belong." We had a few problems with his identity (now known to be Guns17). Nonetheless, we still give you our support, Guns! Good luck with Phrozn!

We have at the same time uncovered an old friend, the Rictor flash movies! Almost everyone has seen them before, but we will post a link here to the movies. If you haven't seen them (especially if you know Rictor) CHECK THEM OUT NOW. Get the Rictor Flash Movies Here! Notably, my newer version of Flash has some problems displaying these movies right, but they will hopefully work right for most people. The link will be in the Other Stuff section from now on as well.

Added by Monkey on December 21, 2003 1:47 AM

Hello, We Are God, Christmas is Coming!!

The christmas season has taken its toll and well life is.... impossible. But everything will be fine after christmas!! So fine in fact, that Evade and I will have 2 weeks of our pathetic lives free to do whatever we want with. This means, of course, that we will finally have time to work on a Quake movie project. We have decided we will at least attempt an actual quake MOVIE (in avi form only). More specifically, a movie which involves but is not entirely about Quake. This time, something great will be made, even if it isn't what we are planning at the moment.

Also, I would like to add that the focus of my website work has shifted from design to content, since I basically never got off my ass to do any design changes. I probably never will, either. You will all have to deal with the rather drab layout which has been bestowed upon you. Either way, in the Bizarro world ugly is beautiful, so you should be happy! Of course the best part about it is, the amazing content on this site will expand for ages to come, as it has been expanding more and more recently. I think, say, about FOUR sections have gone from nothing to something in the last month!!

Added by Monkey on December 16, 2003 1:08 AM

The Latest Updates
Here are the updates:
Intro Page - links to the old intro added (if you haven't seen it, check it out!)
History Page - slight Bizarro history update
Miscellaneous Quake Page - added a link to MXL message boards
IRC Humor Page - several new quotes added
Lists Page - Straightlist added (still pretty small), revamped the system
Other Stuff Page (nothing here before) - added Evade's first Flash movies (3)
Added by Monkey on December 13, 2003 10:36 PM

Monkey Is Our Savior (The French Surrender)

I, Monkey, have created and created the means to distribute, the greatest accomplishment of our time... Q1EDGE.LOC. Get it from the link, or go to the Misc. Quake section and download it + the other CQL maps, all in a convenient ZIP format.

Keep in mind that there are a few slight bugs with the loc file... there is basically nothing I can do about them, since ProQuake's loc system sucks balls... and it's very hard to support the curves in q1edge with rectangles. Note the AND... the loc system is gayed AND you have nothing but rectangles to work with. Also, if you are interested in making your own locs, consult the dm3.loc that comes with ProQuake, DO NOT ASK ME HOW, since I don't want to deal with a ton of messages, and the instructions are in dm3.loc.

If there are any MAJOR problems with the loc file, please tell me... otherwise just thank me for being the bomb.

In other news, Oifer has joined the Bizarro world! He has been with us for a week but we just now agreed to put him on the 6th spot of the CQL roster. This means that signups are over for now, sorry! b18c-5 (phantoman) is still with us, although he is not on the roster as of yet. He will hopefully serve as a backup in case we have to take anyone else off the roster :).

Added by Monkey on December 7, 2003 7:30 PM

New Sections Added

I finally got off my ass and added some new content today. The most significant addition is the IRC Humor section. I have been piling up old quotes and stuff from actual conversations on IRC, and I have put them all in this section. It's pretty big... probably 4 or 5 pages worth of good stuff. We will add to it as new things come available.

I've also added our Lists section. The only thing there right now is the Faglist, which only has 3 people on it right now, but will grow. Keep in mind that this just for making fun of people... don't take offense because you are on our faglist :P.

Both sections were added rather hastily, and will be properly outfitted as soon as possible. In other news, we may have Jeff from Verzion coming aboard soon, but we are not sure yet. This means that our 6th and final spot is likely taken, but we may give it to somebody else if Jeff doesn't come back soon.

Added by Monkey on November 29, 2003 6:03 PM

Another New Member!!

As we gear up for CQL6, we have been looking for prospective bizarrowners. Here comes our 5th member for the CQL6 roster: Zender!! Welcome aboard BIIIIIOITCH!!

Also, as an update, I spent a good portion of my day today extracting new cuts from my massive Bizarro demo collection, many of which will end up in our next Quake movie.

Added by Monkey on November 23, 2003 1:20 AM

At Last, CQL5 Over.... CQL6 Just Ahead!

CQL 5 ended with a bang, as D3M somehow managed to thwart IOV's attempt at conquering the throne. Bizarro got owned by D3M too, in the playoffs. Hey, at least we made it that far! Our final record for matches was 8 wins and 9 losses, not including quarter-finals or playoffs. In the quarter-finals we Rocked (with a capital R) NFA, but then got Rocked the other way in the semi-finals vs. D3M.

But, just as soon as CQL5 ended, CQL6 signups began. We are rebuilding our roster as we doubt Phantoman or Rook will play for us this time. Whitlock has left us sadly... we will miss you Whitlock :). But at the same time, we have gained a reliable and superb player, Dingle. Also of note is that while Dry Ice played only one series of one game last season, he may play full-time this season! Welcome back, Dry :P.

As for the site, I know many of my promises have been broken, but it doesn't really matter because nobody visits the page anyhow :(. Hopefully I will add some content other than THE NEW MOVIE PROJECT we are embarking on. Mod work has stopped for now because we got bored with it, but you can be sure SOMETHING is going to come out of us this time. Stay tuned for more information.

Added by Monkey on November 21, 2003 12:47 AM


First of all, we are proud to present our newest member Rook!!! He's a one man wrecking crew... Bizarrowned!

Second up, we are in the quarter-finals for CQL! Of course, every clan that made it this far is, but who cares, it sounds pretty important :).

More importantly than that however, you may have noticed the Bizarro website just sitting around in its own worthlessness with no updating going on whatsoever. This is because Evade and I have been working on a new project. If it's any indication that Rook is a new member (the masterful modmaker making the CQL Clan Arena mod), we are working on a new project for the moment, which is, alas, a mod. We aren't going to disclose any more details since we don't know when or if it will be released, but it will be released on the Bizarro website when it's done.

However, I will try my best to make some significant updates to the site (for example, making one of the many nonexistant sections). We still have plans for the site.

Added by Monkey on October 26, 2003 3:21 PM

Brief Update
Sureshot out. (He's out for not showing up to a single game and basically disappearing off the face of the Earth.)
Added by Evade on October 14, 2003 7:42 PM

Two New Members

Today we have acquired two new members, which completes our squad. Congratulations to Whitlock and Sureshot for discovering the Bizarro World! Thanks to all of those who tried and failed, since without you we would feel stupid. But don't fret, some day maybe there will be a new opening. But for now, we are going to stick to 5 main players, which are Whitlock, Phantoman, Sureshot, Evade, and Monkey. Souless may play as well, sometimes.

In addition, our CQL record is now 7 wins and 6 losses. We won a good game today against NFA, breaking their 5 win streak.

Added by Monkey on October 1, 2003 2:14 AM

New Bizarro DM and CA Servers

Thanks to Dry Ice's new OC3 Athlon XP 2100+ with 1 gig of ram, two new Quake 1 servers have been added to the mix! Check out for cheatfree DM and for cheatfree CA+. Cheatfree isnt working on the DM server yet but will be soon if all goes well. CHECK OUT THESE SERVERS, they are SUPER fast for east coasters.

IMPORTANT!!!: WE ALSO NEED 2 MORE PLAYERS FOR CQL!!! If you want to play CA, come join us!

Added by Monkey on September 28, 2003 0:58 AM

Tragic News

One of our four fully active members, Shortlink, has quit the clan :(. We are sorry to hear of this and we wish him well. Of course, this means that we will be in need of another person to keep us going through the second half of CQL 5! We are looking for two gifted Quakers and friends to join us in the fight against forfeit losses! Shortlink may have quit, but Bizarro never will. Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray!

If you are interested in joining us, come in #bizarro on etg and tell us in person! Come on, don't be shy!

Added by Monkey on September 16, 2003 2:35 AM

New Intro, New Flash Movies

As you can see, we have revised our intro movie, and added a little something special to the intro page :). Let's see if you can catch what it is! We will be doing some minor adjustments to the intro and/or the intro page in the coming weeks, but it will remain more or less the same for a while. If you want to see the old intro, we have it archived here for the normal version and here for the alternate version (if the first one doesnt display properly).

We have also archived a set of 3 Flash movies which Evade did for a school project about a year ago. There are some good laughs here :).

As for me, I have been helping Evade with the new intro which is now done, so now I can concentrate on revamping the look of this site and making some new content available. Trust me, there is going to be a TON of new content by the end of the year.

Added by Monkey on September 15, 2003 4:26 AM

New Information

I haven't updated the site in a while, so I am going to fill you all in on what has been going on lately. I've decided that I will probably redo the design of the entire site, since I am not completely satisfied with it. I am planning on implementing Java in at least the menu for the new site design. However, it will take a while for me to plan out what I am going to do. So, for now my work on the site will be on hold.

I haven't got a clue what Evade may do, but he is going to be working on some video project. Either the revised intro I've been hoping for, or a standalone video project. Either way, you can expect it to kick ass. So check the topic in #bizarro often for a notification of the updates!

Added by Monkey on September 5, 2003 2:22 AM

Updates, Revised Intro Soon!

We have been slaving away, trying to get better demo cuts and better quality video for the intro. You can expect to see a revised version in a month or less. We will archive the old intro in the Other Stuff section when we get around to it. As a note, the new demo cuts are finished and we are thoroughly pleased with the results.

Furthermore, we will be enhancing the visuals with some actual graphics, instead of just plain text and tables. I have been toying with the idea of making the new demo consortium my next project. There should be some major additions in the next month or so.

Added by Monkey on August 24, 2003 5:24 PM

4!, MXL Messageboard, Bizarro Sighting

Welcome Shortlink to the Bizarro World. This completes the foursome (Monkey, Evade, Phantoman, Shortlink) plus Souless who is still hanging around with the possibility of playing again. I haven't had the chance to play a game with Short yet, at least I don't think I have, but I hear he mops the floor with Monkey's bubols.

Next up is the Mplayer Xtreme League Messageboard archive. This is a classic piece of history for Mplayer Quake and Bizarro's father clan QWL. When Monkey gets around to it, a brief explanation of the events that led up to the massive amounts of bitching and whining that grace this messageboard will be posted in the history section of the site (ed., probably not). You can access the board here. (oh quick note, the board starts here "DI match time... - cheez 15:09:42 2/24/99 (6)". Anything below that on the page is not archived.)

Catch a glimpse of Bizarro history on T.V. tomorrow evening. Tuesday, August 19, The Bizarro Jerry episode of Seinfeld is airing on TBS Superstation at 6:30 p.m. Eastern time.

Added by Evade on August 18, 2003 2:54 AM

First Match With...
Phantoman playing along side Monkey and Myself. We played fairly well for the first time together despite losing to Bogo 3 series to 1. With a little practice together we will make a strong threesome. Also we would like to thank Bogo for playing us 3v3 while we struggle to find a fourth dedicated player.
Added by Evade on August 15, 2003 2:30 AM

Spruce Goose
If you are bored with the layout of the site, or the lack of images and backgrounds, don't fret! We are going to be doing revisions in the coming weeks to make the site look even cooler than it already does. I will also be revising the rosters to make them more user-friendly.
Added by Monkey on August 13, 2003 3:28 AM

New Page Up, Bizarro Wins A Match

The history page is up just in time for our new arrival, Phantoman! It has a brief (2 paragraph) history of our clan, and rosters of both Bizarro and QWL (complete with mini-biographies). Don't forget, we plan on putting up MXL message board archives soon (which are mentioned in some of the bio's).

On another note, Evade and I played D3M in a 2v2 for our first CQL match, and won by a hair's length. It was a very close game, and we are grateful to D3M for allowing the 2v2.

Added by Monkey on August 13, 2003 3:08 AM

Greetings to Our Newest Member

After much hardship in finding a new member, GREETINGS to our newest member, Phantoman!

Keep in mind that we are still looking for one more person to help us win the CA CQL tournament. We may have lost somebody today.

Added by Monkey on August 12, 2003 3:31 AM

Massive Demo Clip Project
I think it would be fairly interesting and neat if a huge video was put together of random quake clips from many different active quakers. It would sort of be in line with the clips on our intro video, but maybe with some kind of theme to it, depending on the quantity and diversity of material obtained. Monkey also has mentioned dedicating a section of this site to a large collection of demos. Maybe we can kill two kittens with one hand. Contact Evade or Monkey if you would like to help us out by submitting some demos.
Added by Evade on August 11, 2003 1:25 AM

Testing, Testing 1-2-3

We think we have solved the problems with our menu rollovers, but if you exhibit the following problems when loading this page for the first time, please bring it to my attention on IRC:

  • Rollovers not loading, or loading and displaying erratically (especially at first)
  • Rollovers have a delay of some sort (usually about 250-500 ms)
Rollovers should cause various menu items to change color when you roll your mouse over them, and display descriptions of the menu items above them.
Added by Monkey on August 10, 2003 0:41 AM

Bizarro CQL

In case you didn't know, Bizarro is signed up for CQL Clan Arena. Watch us kick the anus out of everyone! Check out Ecliptiq's CQL site HERE.

IMPORTANT! Bizarro is looking for 1-2 people to help us win the CQL! If you're interested, come check us out in #bizarro on and talk to us.

Added by Monkey on August 10, 2003 0:41 AM

Here It Is

Welcome to the Bizarro website. Obviously, it is under construction, seeing as this is the only page active right now (besides the intro). I don't know when all these pages will get off the ground, but we have ambitions for the following:

  • A new Quake demo consortium (to which the community may submit demos)
  • IRC quotes
  • Supercool lists of supercool stuff
  • A history of our clan (and roster of every person ever in it)
  • Miscellaneous Quake stuff (screenshots, custom maps and movies)
  • Miscellaneous funnies (pictures, clips, etc concocted over the last several years)
  • And last but not least, DRY ICE JOKES.
  • Added by Monkey on August 9, 2003 11:23 PM


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